Like the average Indian, I too am built to endure. I am always crouching, in the ‘get set’ position, staring at a distant finish line, waiting for the gun to go bang. I always thought I was designed to function when the rules of the game are known, and the racetrack is clearly marked. Without those essential lines of chalk, I thought I might wander, dissipate and never come back.
Engineering was a godsend. Not only did I love science more than anything else in the world, I didn’t know about too many other things. The race was there to be run. I ran the damn thing. I suppose I won.
Events and tasks have always lined up before me, as obvious paths, as challenges, as examinations, as results of random probability… Some tasks have been easy, others have been difficult; a few, I don’t even recall. But my mind used to perceive the universe as a constant source of inputs to which I, the dramatic protagonist, had to respond.
Let me explain this more clearly. When I am subjected to a tight, restrictive framework, I will accept and understand the rules before proceeding to derive the maximum possible benefit from this environment. But I will constantly fall back on a story about rebellion - rebellion against the system, a fight against oppression. Struggle, therefore, becomes a crutch. Like many other people, I thrive in a hostile habitat that creates sufficient trouble to keep its people occupied.
The world of young entrepreneurs is different. As a first-time entrepreneur, most people are confronted with the delusion of control. In the start-up world, where “I work for myself”, there is a strange idea that the entrepreneur is not the response, but the stimulus. As there is no existing race to be won, a brand new race is created – first in the mind and then in the physical world. In a strange way, I now feel like I am the racetrack, the finish line, the runner and the gun.
This is obviously a stupid notion. But it is also an energizing belief. In some ways, the entrepreneur is a child. In this world, there are no rules; there is freedom, and nothing else. But what is freedom in the absence of its boundaries? Such ‘pure’ freedom creates a world where the story of struggle can no longer be an effective crutch. It creates a delusional place where you can become anyone.
In the past few months, I have passed through a mirror. Everything here is fresh and laterally inverted.
