Escaping Social Media

I wake up. My room has almost no natural lighting; so I can’t tell if it is 4 am or noon. My hand reaches out for my cell-phone. I look at the time – it’s okay, I’ve got time – and unlock the screen. I open Facebook – 10 notifications, Instagram – 6 hearts, and WhatsApp – where about a dozen conversations wait, and think about how I am Zuckerberg’s bitch. I open Snapchat for a stream that gets boring and loud too quickly.

I go back to sleep, but I’m restless. So I get up, wash my face and brush my teeth. And before heading for a bath, I open Facebook again to check for updates. Facebook is important for me, as I use it as a marketing vehicle. So part of what I do is work; I slip into the internet’s meaningless bullshit quite easily.

When I drive to work, I open Whatsapp because I see a white light glow on my phone. When I’m at a traffic light – 128, 127, 126, 125… - I quickly open an article to read. I read it in bits and pieces, only at traffic lights. I’m done with the article, and there’s nothing new on Facebook; so I catch up on some tweets. I don’t care about Twitter. They’re going down! But I have nothing else to do.

I reach office. While discussing plans with the guy who handles Digital Marketing, I open Facebook again to prove a point. I emerge from Facebook ten minutes later, having learnt nothing new. I check messages when I’m heading to the bathroom, in the middle of lunch, and sitting in front of the TV.

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Disgusted with my behavior, my spineless servility to social media, I decided to identify the root cause of the problem. And proceed to put things right. If you, like me, find yourself in the middle of unnecessary noise and unable to pull yourself out of the mess, then your problem might be this:

You have the inability to do nothing.

Busy is good. Busy is awesome. It feels good to have a bunch of things to do; we get restless when we’re not doing anything significant. Have you walked down the road with your hands in your pockets, looking at random passersby, wondering why you’re so jobless? Have you waited at a reception, or at a train-station or airport, and felt your time was worth something more? Have you ever felt insulted by a ticking clock? Do you feel disappointed when you’re not continuously multitasking?

We have been coached to think that still moments must be done away with! And your phone is your savior, as it creates to-do lists on the go. There is always something to be read, to be listened to, to be understood, to be done… but most of these things are unnecessary. Your life won’t be significantly impacted if you do not complete these tasks. On the contrary, even if you complete all these tasks – if you read all articles, keep up to date with your friend’s daily activities, stay on top of the latest views on a trending issue, and update your online personality – you won’t be much better off.

Time-fillers have found higher purpose in our lives. Have you ever had nothing to do, felt like your falling through a giant void, only to reach out for the cell-phone, seeking meaning from social media? The internet was conceptualized as a place where we can find responses to our every possible question. It has, however, the incredible ability to provide a constant stream of stimuli. Suddenly, we are responding the Internet. The Internet, in a twisted way, is the initiator of action, the subject; we are its response, or the object of action.

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I believe the cure to this annoying condition is in accepting the slow moments of life. It’s okay if you are aware of the sound of the ticking clock. If your hands are loose, by your sides, it is okay! If there’s something at the tip of your tongue, and you don’t quite recall it, you don’t have to compulsively look it up. If you’re waiting at a traffic signal, it is okay. You don’t need your phone; there’s nothing there.

We have been brought up to believe in buzzwords like productivity, networking and visibility. It has been ingrained in minds, to the point that we now feel crippled without a computer and a phone, without a regular dose of meaningless information inflow and output. But the solution is not in quitting these networks. No, these networks have a place in our lives. But like all problems, the solution to this lies in the middle-ground.

If you’re running a startup, you might well need Facebook as a marketing vehicle, or LinkedIn as a hiring portal. But you need to use them as precisely these tools. And no external help can help you. You need to believe that nothing significant can happen in the ten-twelve hours you choose to stay off social media. No one can say anything remarkable in your echo-chamber of views. Otherwise, the very tools you use to feel more productive will add you to an ever-growing list of insecure, unproductive creatures.

Remember this. You won’t cease to exist when you log off.

On Failure

1. The sheet that covers her face, clenched tightly between her teeth, growing moist around her mouth, is insufficient defence. She twists on the hard mattress, conscious of another morning that attacks her through the gap in the curtain. Another bloody day. Determined to return to sleep, she perceives her own condition from the bedroom door - such drama, such comedy, it is almost unreal. There is nothing left to live for. What's the point anyway?

2. He goes back to the cigarette every time the task is too big. He has been falling off the pace for a few months now. It is incredible how a few bad months can completely derail your life. Money, love and ambition have all dried up; as he stubs the flaming stub under his dusty chappal, he realizes health will soon follow suit. What's the point anyway?

3. You got fired. So what? She left you for another man. So what? Your dreams are crashing and burning in a blinding flame that lights up your wonderful past. So what? You deserted your parents, and now they're dead. How did it all come to this? There is either pain, or nothing. You want neither. Is happiness so difficult to find? Okay, cut that crap about not having to seek happiness. Of course you must seek happiness. Or perish in the attempt. What's the point of life anyway?

4. You cannot lose everything that matters unless you let something matter. You look at your friends, leading their sedentary lives, "hedging risks", existing but never living. Nothing matters. They eat, they breathe, they sleep, they find someone who will share their bed for sixty years, they get themselves a career, they eat, they breathe, they sleep, they defecate... They'll probably never feel like killing themselves. But they'll never feel like Alexander. Go big or go home. Only, "go home" is a lie. You don't go home. You nearly die.

5. You know those flirts? Who don't truly follow their hearts. Because they're cowards. And dabble with millions of ideas, people and events. They'll never make up their minds. Making up their minds would kill them. You know why? Because they'd be All In. Most humans cannot go All In. They're scared. They'd much rather live their lukewarm romances.

6. When you invest blood, sweat and tears in a person, in a book, in a company, in an idea... you do it with expectations. Sri Krishna talks about outcome-independence. Don't bother about the fruits of your actions; your actions are both the means and the end. But who is so great that he/she truly believes this? And if someone truly believes in outcome-independence, doesn't that spell the end of passion? There is no way to reconcile passion and wisdom. No, you cannot have the whole fucking lot.

7. You know it is reasonable to settle into a rhythm, right? Why work outside your comfort-zone? What's that again - "Life starts outside the comfort zone"? Yeah, no it doesn't. Life starts when you emerge from the womb, covered in a film of sticky fluid and wail into the world. Life ends when you can wail no more. Everything in between is life. So you lost. Everybody loses. There is no point analysing this.

8. Where do we go now? Where do we go? Isn't it too late to salvage something? It probably is. Then again, life is weird. There are no beginnings, no middles, no ends. It's just a mess. A hopeless tangle of events, thoughts, emotions, places, people... None of it is supposed to make sense. Not from up close, anyway. Maybe from a distance. From far, far away, everything makes sense. You're living a goddamned epic!

9. And she does it over and over again. She calls me to tell me how she suffers only because of her goodness. Yes doll, you suffer only because of you're good. And successful people are successful only because they have rotten hearts. Get over yourself. If you're good, you wouldn't use it as defence! Goodness needs no incentive. Be good because you want to be good; nobody is asking you to be anything. People are shit? Well, of course they are! If everybody was good, we wouldn't give a damn about you. You angel.

10. "God is a dick!" Well, you believe in God; you haven't been broken enough. Be thankful. And shut up. You know the sequence: believer becomes agnostic, agnostic turns atheist, atheist converts into a bitter cynic, and the bitter cynic suffers real physical pain. Then everybody dies, of course. You know what? You are so conscious about your failure only because you think you can experience the state of not-failing. That's called hope. And hope is a good thing.

Entrepreneurship #2: "We'll Figure It Out"

I'm shamelessly stealing my friend's (and a bunch of seasoned stoners') go-to line here, but existing stereotypes - blame the Valley - and an incipient entrepreneurship culture have made it indispensable.

"We need to get 10,000 downloads by January. How are we going to get there?"
"We'll figure it out."

"Hey, we have only 20,000 bucks! How are we going to pay rent next month?"
"We'll figure it out."

"What time do you want to leave for the movie?
"We'll figure it out."

"Dude, she's really hot!"
"We'll figure it out."

And so on and so forth. It is the ultimate fallback line, which acts like a safety net for failing businesses, time and money crunches, seemingly hopeless situations, falling aeroplanes... When the average human being is about to push the panic button, the entrepreneur begins to figure it out.

Of course, there needs to be action beyond these words; otherwise, failure is certain. These words cannot be empty. "Figuring it out" is an essential skill that any freelancer, entrepreneur, person in an unstructured business/activity or leader who is pushing the boundaries of human progress must learn. In a regular job, and in several other day-to-day activities, this process can be avoided by a hand-over.

When another human being has already done what you are about it do, then your task can be simplified by something businesses have charmingly termed Knowledge Transfer or KT. Good businesses have expansive databases to document their experiences, problems, solutions, capabilities, competition, weaknesses, clients, random visitors... Outside these organizations, there is currently no (effective) database; without these databases, one is always flying blind.

During this blind flight, it is important to find solutions to brand new problems all the time. There is no one you can "escalate" the matter to either (God isn't a good listener). Sometimes, these problems are solved by asking people who are willing to help, and even as I write this, I'm pleasantly surprised about the number of people who are willing to help. Entrepreneurs who have nothing in common with you, for some strange reason, care for their creed. They will help you. (This is not the case in most other fields. For example, in writing, the most common first-instinct of a critic, editor or fellow writer is to destroy a manuscript on the pretext of providing constructive feedback.)

In other cases, simply asking questions won't solve the problem. In order to figure it out, a best-fit solution is chosen, implemented and tracked. Sometimes, it works. At other times, the figuring-process continues.

I think a thin line separates excitement from panic. When you're figuring it out, you're always walking that line, confidently.