Birthdays

Turning middle-aged

I turned 35 today and gave myself the gift of time—to pause, reflect, and write 600 words about reaching this milestone called middle-age.

I can fully accept, without regret or struggle, that my body has passed its natural peak. Training for a half-marathon or pushing myself harder in exercise would certainly make me fitter than ever, but the credit would go to my mind for its ability to will my body into exertion. Honest acceptance of my limits - mental, physical, emotional - now comes more easily than in my seemingly invincible twenties. This triumph, too, is of the mind, which remains sharp in learning new things and is reaching a new peak in connecting prior knowledge to uncover deeper meaning.

Suddenly, I find myself thinking more about human mortality, a reflection of the growing number of family, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances with greying hair and wrinkled faces. This awareness that an active life isn't endless has nudged me to embrace care tasks I once despised and to focus more on the quality of my food, air, sleep, and daily routines.

The perception of limited time in the world also changes the twenty-year-old's wanderings into the thirty-year-old's journey. This journey isn't along a straight path, nor does it have an exact destination, but it is a clear shift from the Brownian motion of youth. Now, life feels like it's moving forward, not just sideways or in expanding circles.

This journey has also brought with it a deeper sense of meaning. It’s difficult to say whether purpose fuels the journey or the journey uncovers purpose, but the distinction matters less than the recognition that meaning exists. What’s more important is moving beyond the notion that all values are relative. At 35, I no longer see morality as entirely subjective - some principles hold more weight than others. While there may still be disagreements, I believe that in most situations, intellectually honest and courageous people will converge on what is truly right.

It’s also become clear to me why we must fight for the right causes. The world is shaped by the marketplace of ideas, and if we remain silent, we lose ground, and our causes fade away. Some of these causes are so fundamental to our existence and well-being that, though abstract, they surpass even the importance of our own self. Fighting for such ideas makes me feel like Nietzsche's famous lion, or like Arjuna on the plains of Kurukshetra.

Yet, in the midst of these battles, another truth emerges: the relentless compression of time. The past few years have flown by in a blur, and with so many parallel pursuits vying for my attention, it has been easy to slip into a vortex of busy-work. To break out, I’ve had to prioritize ruthlessly. Sadly, the first sacrifice on this altar of prioritization was leisure. Unstructured time - moments not optimized for outcomes - was the first to disappear from my calendar. While this boosted productivity and multitasking, it came at a cost: my creativity and psychological well-being. Now, ironically, I find myself scheduling time for inefficiency, hoping to rekindle the creative space I once took for granted.

My final realizations at this onset of middle-age are of force-multiplication through compounding and collaboration. All my long-term consistent habits (like diet, writing and learning) and focus areas (like family, relationships and money) have resulted in satisfying outcomes, a result of the fabled 1% principle. Whenever I am faced with a difficult problem, I either consistently devote time to solving it or I partner with like-minded and culturally aligned people to create leveraged impact.

With deep gratitude and uncompromising faith in the universe, I seek your blessings and good wishes as I step forward into an exciting future.

One Year of Kaddu


Exactly 365 days ago, Anubha and I were on a one-off walk through the society on a rainy evening when we spotted a wounded white puppy bravely tippy-tapping down the road. The moment I wrapped my fingers around his supple velvety body and picked him up, our lives forever changed.

When I look back at Kaddu's first year in the world, the words that come to mind include cute, foolish, hungry, crazy, greedy, loving and No (kindly note the capitalized 'n'). One year with a puppy has pushed our thinking and behaviour onto a different plane, but at a practical level, we have mostly learned to effectively communicate the N-word.

A friend asked me if this was a strategic move to growth-hack parenting - "Is Kaddu an experimental child, so that you can learn the ropes?" I laughed his question off at the time, but I can understand where it came from. Loving a puppy has helped me realize the potential I have to fully love a helpless toddler for whom I am everything.

"We didn't save the dog, he saved us" is a cliché I've come to accept. He saved us from continuing our lives as limited hoomans who don't know an animal's love. The dog, in my opinion, is the perfect gateway animal: they open you up to a wild new world out there.

A world beginning with dogs (Haseena, Millie, Cyrus, Olly, Zoe, Danaerys, Kaalu, Candy and Crush, Foxy, Yoda, Yoga, are all furry faces I can recognize), but extending into cats, squirrels, birds, cows, pigs and horses. Some of these animals scare Kaddu, some are his friends, and others (like the horse) leave him flummoxed. By living closely with him, I sometimes get a glimpse of what goes on inside his cute, soft, furry head: I perceive those noisy red cars, giant green buses, sly cats who climb high branches, big black bullies with sharp teeth, and smelly pee and poo of various friends and animals.

Kaddu has also helped me explore the society in a way a way I'd never imagined. In the first few months of taking baby Kaddu for walks, I walked through more lanes, bushes, parks and buildings than I had in the two years prior. In certain ways, he has made us care a little more for the society too. Earlier, you could chop down a few trees overnight and have them cleared before morning, and I'd never have noticed their removal. But now, even if someone moved that green dustbin by the park by a few feet, I'd know something is amiss.

We have also made new friends through him. In fact, almost everyone we meet in the society now are through Kaddu (he is way more friendly than us), and we have realized that doggie-playdates act as excellent social glue. We pet-parents (not owners, how dare you) share stories of our little ones, their nakhre, strange things like to eat or drink, places we last took them to... Pet-parenting is like a crazy invite-only subterranean cult, and if I wasn't in it, I wouldn't have believed such a thing exists.

So we've talked about how Kaddu helped us get to know other animals, our society, and other people. But most importantly, he has helped us get to know ourselves get up on time without an alarm. He's up at six, his snout hovering over my face, ready to lick, and woof "gooby morning!"